My dad died today in our house, a month or so shy of his 70th birthday, from lung cancer. I’m writing about it here because I loved him, because he was the most influential person in my life along with my mom, and I want everyone to know about him. But I write about him in this public space for a second reason I’ll get to.
Rip Ruhlman was born in Cleveland and spent most of his adult life as an ad man, a copy writer and eventually creative director and an owner of the Cleveland agency Lang, Fisher & Stashower, which became Liggett-Stashower. He loved this city, he loved his work and his colleagues. He never missed a deadline.
He loved his friends. He was the kind of man, we were saying today, who, when a close couple divorced, remained best friends with both of them. Not surprising for the man who remained best friends with his ex-wife, my mom, Carole, of West Palm Beach, who was at his side today.
But I write about him here, on this food blog, because he was the spirit of generosity and hospitality. He always thought of others first and was always the last to the table making sure everyone had everything they needed before he sat. He loved food, loved, loved to eat, loved to drink, loved to feed others. He was never happier than when he was serving someone else. I dedicated my book, Making of a Chef, to him, “provider of the feast,” because he was that, both literally and spiritually. He was bounty itself. He was the ghost of Christmas present, and I got to be with him all the time.
But it’s most important for me to write about him here to acknowledge to those readers who have found some value in my work, that were it not for him, and the way he lived his life, I would not have been able to take the risks I needed to do what I do now. He encouraged me to pursue what I loved, and I knew he would be a safety net if things got bad. What little I have done, would not have been done, without him.
I cannot help but be moved almost to tears by the above photograph, which Donna took in Maine on Rip’s 60th birthday. Rip with his granddaughter, ever the parent, holding the child’s hand as she looks over the edge into who knows what, emboldened to do so because of the anchor behind her.
Goodbye, Dad. I love you.
Diego
My deepest condolences Michael. I can not imagine what it must be like to lose a father. You and your family are in my thoughts
Jaye
I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. I lost my dad at the same age as your dad. Losing someone who has that much influence on your life is tough. Here's to your dad, may he be feasting in heaven tonight.
JoAnn
How lucky you were to have had a father like this.
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal." (from an Irish headstone).
May your memories bring you comfort.
Joseph Bayot
That is a beautiful picture and this essay is a beautiful dedication.
All the best.
Skawt
I'm very sorry to hear that, Michael. Rachel and I extend our condolences.
Laoch
Sorry for your loss. You've written a fine tribute to him.
Rachel Luxemburg
Michael, I am so very sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you, Donna, and the rest of your family in this difficult time.
When sad things happen, there's not much we can do but to hold on to each other until the storm passes, and have faith that the sun will shine again. It may never shine quite as brightly, but it will hold the memory of your father's love for all time.
Aaron
Michael,
My deepest condolences on your loss and thank you for sharing this here. Sharing your memories of your father keeps his meaning and legacy alive in people that never had the opportunity to know him personally. It will also make me call my father tomorrow and tell him thank you and that I love him.
thank you,
-aaron
GL
My condolences.
RI Swampyankee
My deepest and most heartfelt condolences, Michael. A father can only hope to leave the kind of legacy that Rip has left to you, and by extension, all of us.
You and Donna and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I'll light a candle for you all.
Cameron S
My condolences. Thank you for sharing your father within those beautiful words.
claudia (cook eat FRET)
oh michael, my heart goes out to you and your family. but how wonderful that you had a dad like rip.
as sad as it is that he's now gone, he gets to live on in the fine man you have become...
i can only imagine how incredibly proud he was of you.
w.
My deepest condolences to your and your family.
Russ H
I am so sorry for your loss. He sounds like he was a hell of a guy! My condolences to you and your family...
Jeff
My condolences to you and your family.
April
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. My sincere condolences to you and your family.
Susan at StickyGooeyCreamyChewy
I am so very sorry for your loss. My condolences to you and your family. Your dad sounds like a wonderful man. I lost my own father to cancer a year and a half ago, and I know what a difficult time this must be for you.
SorchaR
I'm so sorry, Michael. He sounds like a wonderful father and a terrific person.
Kal Cobalt
Michael, I have also lost a parent to whom I was very close, and you have my deepest sympathies for your loss.
How lucky you are to have had such a wonderful man in your life. Thank you for sharing him with all of us.
Kal Cobalt
Michael, I have also lost a parent to whom I was very close, and you have my deepest sympathies for your loss.
How lucky you are to have had such a wonderful man in your life. Thank you for sharing him with all of us.
lisa
i am so sorry for your loss. please know my thoughts are with you and your family at this time.
grocer
*blubbering*
kylan at red mountain mangalitsa
Mr. Ruhlman
Thank you for sharing your father's memory with us. From your words here and my understanding of you, I know he is a man the world will miss, and an exceptional human.
I would like to thank your father and yourself for the the inspiration you have been to me. I have become a better son to my remaining parent through my cooking, and my hog ranch. A ranch on which there would be no pigs if it were not for you, and in that case your father.
Peace be with you Rip
breadchick
My most sincere condolences on your loss. A beautiful tribute to your father.
JennieTikka
Very sorry for your loss, but honored that you chose to share this with us.
Jennie C.
Cali
My deepest sympathies go out to you and your family. How lucky you are to have had the benefit of such a loving, giving father. Even in this, a time of great sorrow, I envy that relationship.
Cigar2
Sorry to hear about the death of you father.
Nick N
To a teen who often does not fully appreciate his father yet, this means a lot. My condolences.
Katherine B
Oh, I think you did just touch me right now. It's incredible to be blessed by someone who loves you so much, which makes their passing so bittersweet. My thoughts are with you & your family.
Jessica
Michael, thank you for sharing your beautiful tribute to your father with us. You and your family have our condolences, know that you are in our thoughts.
Adam T.
Michael, my deepest condolences. Your touching words do honour to your, and to all fathers. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family in these challenging times.
barbara
My deepest condolences to you and your family Michael. It must have been wonderful to have such a man as a father and grandfather.
Kevin
I'm very sorry to read that, Michael. My condolances to you and your family; it reminds me of when I lost my father, it s a very emotional thing.
carri
Thank you for sharing such a loving tribute! It is a beautiful thing that you were able to keep him home with you and your amazing family...our sincerest sympathy goes out to all of you.
motoko
You have honored your father so eloquently....may those memories of him infuse your soul with peace...
Traci @ Soup of The Day
Oh, MR -- So sorry 🙁
This is what everyone always talks about -- how do you want to be remembered? I want to be remembered the same way you remember your Dad; As someone who loved everyone, and who, in turn, everyone loved back. No matter what. Because love is what matters. It's the only thing that matters.
Our deepest condolences to you and your family. I'm so sorry you have lost your father.
arundathi
My deepest condolences. It must be such a difficult time. My best wishes go out to you and your family.
andrew
That was a wonderful, beautiful remembrance. My condolences...
Karin (Grew up in Cleveland and miss it in VA)
My sincerest condolences to you and your family.
I was privileged to start my career in advertising back in the days when it was still Lang, Fisher & Stashower. It was a great shop to work for, especially back then and a credit to one's talent if you got a job there.
Now I know another reason why.
Wilmita
My sincerest condolences to you and your family.
My mother died at the end of May this year. The pain of her loss is still with me of course.
However, the honor of having had her as my mother will never leave me and sustains me as I work through my grief.
Having the privilege to be the son of such an honorable man, I shall hope it would be the same for you and give you strength during this difficult time.
-Wilmita
ntsc
So sorry.
If he was the safety net that allowed you to do Making of a Chef, he gave the world an extraodanary story teller.
Rochelle
I am so sorry for your loss.
Laura J.
Michael,
I am so sorry about your loss. I have been where you are -- my mother died two years ago at age 73. While my heart was and still is broken at her passing, I am so honored to have had her, her love and her care, in my life.
Your tribute demonstrates the love you share with your father. That love will carry you through this difficult time.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Laura
amyjul
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. My thoughts are with you and your family, hoping that you all find comfort in wonderful legacy your father has left.
Glenn
So sorry for your loss, but thank you for the eloquent post about your Dad. We all wish we could have met him. My wife & lost both our fathers this year, and they too were exceptional in many of the same ways that you describe. As sons of astounding fathers, we have a lot to live up to, but their examples give us the recipe.
Don
Thank you for these few eloquent words that paint such a warm and vivid picture. Your father touches others' lives still, even in death.
maria
What a beautiful photograph and dedication. Thank you for sharing.
cybercita
Dear Michael,
I did not have a good father. You were lucky to have a great one and blessed to be able to appreciate him. My condolences on your loss.
FoodPuta
Michael, A great essay describing your father. Thanks for sharing. Sounds like the world lost a good one. Very sorry for loss.
Andrea
This is a lovely tribute to your father. Thank you for sharing him with us, and best wishes to you and your family.
ruhlman
thank you, everyone.
ttrentham
Amazing photo. My condolences. Thanks for sharing.
JoP in Omaha
My deep condolences to you and your family.
Darcie
Michael, my deepest sympathies to you and your family. May the wonderful memories comfort you.
Tags
I'm sorry about your Dad, Michael.
My family will lay their prayers at his feet, confident that he'll use them as wisely as he did his worldly gifts.
Broadsheet
Your tribute to your Dad truly reflects what a terrific job he did. The most important job anyone can ever have - being a loving parent. I'm sorry for your loss. My Dad is the same age, and I couldn't bear losing him.
Victoria
My dad was a rock too. He died one month shy of his 85th birthday, which I had been planning to celebrate in a big way. He lived 11 years longer than my mother, the British war bride he saw in person only three times before he went back to marry her. After he died, I found a small suitcase in the attic with two parcels inside. One had his letters to her during WWII; the other had hers to him. He preserved them in perfect condition for me. At his funeral service I said, "As Albus Dumbledore told Harry Potter in Book II, 'To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure'" I say that to your father also. May he find peace now and may you find great joy in your memories even though you will long to see his face and hear his voice for the rest of your days.
Amy Sherman
A lovely tribute. I'm sure you will carry his spirit with you, wherever you go.
Phil
What a wonderful tribute to your father, Michael. My heart goes out to you in this difficult time. Yesterday was my mother's birthday. She would have been 83. We lost her four years ago, and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about her wonderful spirit, which I keep with me and celebrate each and every day.
Karina
Michael- My deepest sympathies. Your father sounds like a beautiful soul.
jo
So sorry Michael, loss is never easy, but it sounds like it was a life well lived and more importantly a life well remembered.
Paige
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad this year too and understand the ache you must feel right now.
Your tribute to him was beautiful and it is memories like the ones you've shared here that will help you mourn and heal.
Deepest sympathies,
Paige
Nick Dawson
Michael - your words are a touching tribute to your father. I am so sorry for your loss.
Sandy White
Dear Michael,
Your tribute to Rip is perfect. It made me feel better to read it.
You are a fine family and Rip was very proud of all of you with good reason.
Love to you all.
Lydia
My deepest sympathy....I lost my own dear father in March so I know it won't be easy for you, but I cherish his memory as I'm sure you will cherish his.
Jeannie
Beautiful words and it sounds like he was surrounded by family when he passed which is the best gift that you could have given him. Thank you for sharing this and from your description it seems his spirit has always existed in your writing and will continue to!
Megan
That's a lovely essay. Thanks for sharing something so personal.
Michelle
I'm so sorry for the loss of your Father.
Badger
I am so very sorry for your loss. What a lovely tribute to your father. May he rest in peace.
Chris
A profound loss cannot be soothed with words, but my most sincere and heartfelt sympathies are with you.
Tip a glass in his honor and make his favorite meal.
Elly
I'm so sorry for your loss, Michael. Your father sounds like he was an amazing man. This was a great way to pay tribute to and honor him.
Frank Mancuso
So sorry to hear about your dad. I lost mine a year ago last week, and know how painful it is. I'm sure he was quite proud of you.
FM
Robin Black Miller
My deepest condolences to you and your family, Michael. He must have been an amazing man, and I'm always moved when men write lovingly about their fathers. Thank you for sharing him with us all.
Jean
I'm so sorry for your loss. I was so moved by your words because it's obviously you have tremendous admiration and a deep love for your father. My condolences to you and your family.
VictoriaB
You were fortunate to have such a father; from what you say about him, I surmise he would say that he was the lucky one, to have you for a son. Your beautiful, articulate tribute to him does him great honor. You look a lot like him, Michael. My condolences to you and your family in your loss.
Kovalic
Our very deepest sympathies, Michael. We're so sorry to hear of this.
Natalie Sztern
Michael remember my donation? who knew that two weeks ago my own mother-in-law would be diagnosed with terminal lung cancer at the young age of 78...I can't describe my devastation so I can only imagine your grief, that of your children and wife and mother.
Unfortuately i am only at the first stage of grief: that of denial, even tho she has only months left;she has been my mother for thirty of my fifty-one years.
Having your father be with you during his last days is an act you will always be grateful for having done because I know, without knowing, that your father passed feeling he was safe and secure and surrounded by his family, and clearly his daughter Donna.
having lost both of my parents early in my twenties and then early thirties; the loneliness gets harder not easier, but having my father die at home gave my mother the strength to let him go, as it will give you strength.
It is so fucking hard to lose a parent, that these are probably the only times when words mean nothing. My thoughts will be beside all the Ruhlmans as you go about the week because we are embarking on the same path you have just ended.
oregoncoastgirl
My condolences. May you find peace in the coming months.
swillmonkey
My heart goes out to you Michael. We're not too far apart agewise, my father died 10 years ago this Labor Day weekend of lung cancer. He overcame a lot in his life, but he could not quite smoking. It was a year long ordeal that I would not wish on anyone. I hope you find a way to grive, it is so senseless. My sincere condolences.
Lyndon
Michael,
I am so sorry about your loss. Thank you for sharing a beautiful tribute to your father.
ekarlin
Your eloquent and loving tribute to your father was matched by the heartfelt condolences expressed by the above comments.
I wish to offer my own words of support to you in this sad time. May these positive expressions lift you up and carry you into the future.
jjob80
MIchael,
So sorry about your dad. There's a famous quote... "And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. (Abraham Lincoln)
Even though your father lived to 70, it's of course still too short, but it sounds like he experienced and shared the fullness that life had to offer. His body may be gone but he lives on through you and your children.
Dan McGurn
Mike:
So sorry for your loss.
We lost my Mom under similar circumstances.
Much love and sympathy to you and your family from your Dukie friends back east,
Danny
Pavlov
My condolences on your loss. That was a beautiful tribute.
Rob
Michael,
Deepest condolences. My dad was also and ad man in cleveland years ago. He died in 2001 at Akron General Hospital. Although we miss him, the memories last forever.
RC
ChristaSeychew
My deepest condolences, Michael. Having a parent you truly love, respect and admire is a gift. I'm sure that you are giving that same gift to your children as well, something that in turn surely made your father very proud.
Todd
I am sorry for your loss, it is great to hear of men who lived the right way. I will keep your family in my prayers.
Elisa
I'm so sorry for your loss. My father died from the same terrible disease. It's been 12 years ago now, but of course we never forget. It does get easier, though, to remember the good memories. It seems like you are already doing that. Food is such an important part of childhood, and for you, your adult life. It is wonderful that you had that as a connection with your father and that you can continue to honor his influence on who you are and what you are doing with your life.
NYCook
Michael my sincerest condolences to you and your family. At 24 I just lost my father to Lou Gehrigs and just wanted to reach out with love and support. I know what a difficult time this can be. Good men must die, but death can not kill their names-Proverbs.
John
My prayers are with you and your family, Michael.
A beautiful, moving tribute.
Thanks for sharing with us.
ihop
Dear Mr. Ruhlman,
My uncle Jim was at US with you, and whenever your name gets mentioned (people in my family read your books a lot) my grandmother always likes to talk about how beautiful your mother was. So sorry to hear of your loss, and deepest condolences from all the Hopkins family.
Debbie Franco
MIchael, I'm so sorry for your loss. My father died the 21st of last month, at the age of 76. I know your pain. We can just be grateful that we had our fathers as long as we did.
Sincerely,
Debbie Franco
Debbie Franco
Michael, I'm so sorry for your loss. My father died the 21st of last month, at the age of 76. I know your pain. Being Italian he was like your dad in the food department. He loved to eat and to feed others. He was a suburban gardener who was proud to share his bounty. We can be grateful we had them as in our lives as long as we did.
Sincerely,
Debbie Franco
ginevra
I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing such lovely memories.
Paulius Nasvytis
Sincere condolances from all of us.
Kate in the NW
Of all the million ways we are nourished, life with a loving parent is perhaps one of the most profund. Thank you and your father for sharing that with us all.
Lauren
You and your family are in my thoughts today as you mourn the loss of your father. He would be proud of the tribute that you have written to him, I am sure.
stephanie
My sincerest condolences to you and your family. The paragraphs above brought tears to my eyes, but I'm sure it's nothing compared to yours.
G-d bless.
Tom H
Michael
All my sincere condolences for the loss of your dad. Keep him close in spirit. This has been a very difficult year to date so I understand what you are going through. It is a statement of your love that you brought your dad into your house where he was comfortable and surrounded by loved ones. I hope I am as fortunate when my time comes.
God bless you and your family.
Just another boy from Cleveland who hasn't moved back yet..
-- TomH
Frances
Michael, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad.
Sergio
Michael,
I send you my deepest condolences to you in this difficult time. May the Lord give you and your family the peace that surpasses all understanding. You are a product of the man who was your father, noble, upright and talented. His memory will forever be honored by your work. God Bless you.
Sergio
Seth Haynes
With life comes death and we are remembered best by those we touch deepest.
Sorry to hear of your loss.
parkbench
Deepest condolences to you and yours, Michael, and peace to you and Donna for providing your father with hearth, home and family.
michele
I thank you for a glimpse of him, I thank him for the glimpses of you.
closer to the bone
Michael:
I've always read, but have never posted here, until now.
My condolences to you and your family, as you mourn both the tremendous loss, and lovingly recall the tremendous life, of your father.
In times of such loss, I have often found solace in the following words by Yeats. Even if, like us all, such solace is fleeting, it nonetheless provides a sort of balm that, for the moment, helps to eventually heal as best as one can at the moment, when bereft due to the loss of a loved one.
Sincerely,
closer to the bone
WHEN YOU ARE OLD
When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;
How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim Soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;
And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.
-W. B. Yeats
sarah
Sorry to hear about your loss but truly it is incredible wonderful to have such respect and love for a parent. I feel the same way about my mother and her ability to be hospitable and her love to entertain...that is a rarity in our society. My sincere condolences.
Tim M.
I am terribly sorry for your loss.
Shelley Pchak
May the wonderful memories of your Dad warm your heart each time you sit down for a meal. You know he will be there with you.
My deepest sympathy to you.
kristin
Michael,
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. My thoughts and deepest sympathies to you all.
Katherine B.
How lucky you are to have had a great Dad! My heart and prayers are with you and your family during this time of sadness.
Truc
I'm so, so sorry. Thank you for sharing a tiny bit of your father with us.
Bourdainiac
You have my sympathies, Michael. So bloody sorry to hear about your dad. Stay strong.
vicente aseneta
I'm very sorry to know of this sad news. My sympathies to you to you and yours. Take care.
canarygirl
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Jacqueline Church
Michael: I'm so sorry for you and your extended family. What a terrific man. I'm glad he was with family. I hope that the memories (like the precious captured in the photo above) will help to ease your grief.
Deepest sympathy for you and your family.
-Jacqueline
Jacqueline Church
Michael: I'm so sorry for you and your extended family. What a terrific man. I'm glad he was with family. I hope that the memories (like the precious captured in the photo above) will help to ease your grief.
Deepest sympathy for you and your family.
-Jacqueline
Jacqueline Church
Michael: I'm so sorry for you and your extended family. What a terrific man. I'm glad he was with family. I hope that the memories (like the precious captured in the photo above) will help to ease your grief.
Deepest sympathy for you and your family.
-Jacqueline
Kevin
I lost my dad three years ago this month and I felt the same way about him. My response was similar to yours; I wanted to let everyone know who the man was that influenced me so deeply. I'm sorry for your loss.
rockandroller
Michael,
So sorry to hear your sad news, and what a fine tribute. *hugs*
Lindi
Michael,
What a touching entry. Thank you for sharing your deeply personal feelings at such a difficult time. Your father sounds like a man I would like to have known. I'm sorry for your loss.
Adrienne
I am so sorry for your loss.
Jen Blue
My thoughts and prayers are with your entire family.
Mariana
I used to work with Rip and just received the sad news this morning. I'm so sorry for your loss.
His office was full of family pictures - he was a very proud father and grandfather.
He will truly be missed. I've been lucky to have known such a wonderful man.
My deepest sympathies to you and your family.
veron
My deepest condolonces for your loss. I can imagine how it is to lose your dad. It is the hardest thing.
Neal L.
I'm very sorry about your Dad's passing.
Bail o Dhia ort.
Leslie Resnik
Dear Michael, Rip was the very definition of the word gentleman - in every sense. His integrity inspired me daily; his compassion soothed me so many times; his sense of endless wonder at the world's treasures excited me; his curiosity informed us all and his mastery of the language humbled me. He was so much a part of my past and my profession. You brought him such joy. I grieve with you and share just a few of your magnificent memories.
Love, Leslie Resnik
Linda
Dear Michael,
What a beautiful tribute to your father. I am so sorry for your loss and my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. I use to work with your father at Liggett-Stashower. He was an amazing man. He had such a good heart and always took the time to talk to people. He brought smiles and love to everyone whose life he touched. He will be missed greatly but never forgotten.
frenchtart
i am really, really sorry for your loss.
John Lewis
I worked with your Father at Liggett Stashower and I will truly miss him. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Mark Szczepanik
I had the privilege of working with your father at LS. He remains as one of my advertising heroes. I particularly admire his ravenous curiosity. He always had questions and was a lifelong student.
I also lost my father too soon. It was about two years ago. He was 63. What really helped us through that time was all the stories told by family and friends about my dad. So here are a few of my favorite memories of Rip:
There was a party that we were karaoke-ing at and we tried to get Rip to sing with us. He said he'd only sing if we had the song "Shaboom shaboom." Which led to us to an exhaustive search all over the internet for the song. We never found it. So we can't vouch for Rip's singing talent.
He was also a major player in our Halloween exploits. Every year we have a party here at the agency in which each department dresses up in costume. Well one year the creatives were mexican wrestlers. We had masks, names, signature moves, the whole bit. We built a ring in the lobby complete with ropes and break away props. I believe Rip's character was "Verde the Violent" - due to his green mask. He was slated to compete for the "championship" vs. Earnie our photographer. He entered the ring yelling and carrying a stalk of celery - it was green. He and Earnie had quite the battle with Rip eventually being pinned as scripted.
I was always amazed by Rip's conversational skills. He could always find something in common with anyone. We'd often chat about raquetball and I considered challenging him to a game but it never happened. But after talking to some of his opponents, it's a good thing I didn't - he would've trounced me even at 40 years my senior. We'd often discuss movies and their plot points. And he had the same rapport with everyone at the agency from the mailroom to the CEO.
Rip was one of the nicest guys I know and is already missed.
Judith in Umbria
The luckier we are as children, the harder it is to lose them. I am very sorry.
Chris Baldwin
Michael,
I knew your father as a co-worker here at Liggett Stashower and have nothing but respect and admiration for him. He was a pleasure to work with. Always asking questions. I loved sitting in his office to talk and seeing the black and white pictures of your children on his wall. He was very proud of you and your wife. He spoke of you often.
I enjoyed reading your words about him as your father. I hope you and your family will take comfort in knowing how much we all enjoyed his humor and his presence. He will be missed because he was loved and admired so much.
My thoughts are with you and your family as I think of Rip. Loved the photos on your blog. That's the Rip I'll remember.
mirinblue
Michael and Donna and Family,
I am so very, very sorry...
Rob Sama
My condolences.
phillygirl64
I am so sorry to hear this news.
I lost my father 27 yrs ago this past May...While there is never a good time to lose a parent, it sounds like you have many wonderful memories to comfort you...
Marilyn Casey
Dear Michael -
I worked with Rip, your dad. He always had time for everyone who stopped by his office to chat or ask for advice. Not only was Rip kind and generous, he also had that smile! A smile that made his eyes dance with the light of warmth, spirit and intelligence - and one that lit the heart of anyone he spoke with. The world is less beautiful without Rip's light, but a better place because of his spirit.
Newsmike
My condolences -- he sounds like a great guy. In a sense, though, he will live on through you and your kids. 70 years from now, your daughter may be showing her grandkids that photo and telling about the man who held her hand ...
Andy Coan
Michael, the grace of hospitality is indeed, at its best, what the love of food is all about. My sympathies are with you; may your father rest in peace.
Corey
Michael,
My deepest condolences on the loss of your father.
I was lucky enough to work with Rip for two years.
I will always remember him as a supportive boss, a thoughtful mentor, and most importantly, one of the truest gentlemen I've ever known.
I will keep your family in my prayers.
Dana
Michael,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Isn't it wonderful when we can look at our fathers and determine that they are not only great role models as fathers, but haved lived their lives as men in such a way that we turn out to be better persons for observing the way they lived life.
Dana
ErikaK
Michael & Family, my condolences for your loss.
What a beautiful tribute and an awesome photo. I lost my mom very very suddenly 2 years ago to congestive heart failure and know what you are going through. I often think about what it would have been like to know and wait for her death rather than to have it come so quickly. God bless you.
Amy
Micheal,
I am so sorry for your loss.
This is a beautiful tribute to your father.
My thoughts are with you and yours.
-Amy
Reynolds
Every once in a while I hear about someone I wish I could've met. Your father is one of those people. My prayers are with you and your family Michael.
Brian
my condolences. a very thougtful write up, thank you for sharing.
Brian
Nicholas Paldino
My condolences to you on your loss. Having lost my father to cancer, I sympathize greatly with your loss.
Tim Ross
Dear Mr. Ruhlman,
I am sorry to hear about your loss. That picture just breaks my heart it is so endearing. I really enjoy your blog you have a great writing style and you appear to be a real class act as I have witnessed from a few of your TV appearances. My thoughts are with you and your family, I wish you the best.
Sincerely,
Tim
Liza
So sorry to hear about your loss.
Clay
My deepest condolences.
Evelyn Allen
Michael...Rip was the inspiration for our recent LS reunion, as I'm sure you know. Rip didn't want the party in his honor, but he was the catalyst for our gathering. We shared great memories of the past 30 years and missed him greatly, but we celebrated his life and his contributions to all of ours.
Evelyn Allen
matt k.
I'm sorry to hear about your father's passing, but it is very touching that he was such a great influence in your life. I also have a wonderful set of parents and my father is perhaps the greatest influence on my life. that photo and your entry is poignantly appropriate and truly commemorates your father.
my deepest condolences.
Garrett
Many hugs to you. I'm sure as he did you proud, you did him quite proud as well.
Dana
I just finished your book, Soul of a Chef, and read your blog often, you are a fabulous writer. I am so sorry for your loss, but it sounds as though you have or are making peace with it. I lost my father 11 years ago, he was 60, and I count my blessings that I had my father in my life for the 30 years I did. God bless.
Dana Meister
Michael,
I too had the privilege of working with your Dad at LS. As many know, agency-life is hectic with plenty of ups and downs. However, we could always count on Rip's warm smile regardless of the type of day we were all having. A good lesson for all of us! My most vivid memory of Rip takes me back to Hopkins. We both were on a flight headed out of town at Thanksgiving time. Rip was leaving to judge a show and I was going to visit family. After a much delayed flight, Rip was kind enough to offer me a carrot that he pulled from his coat pocket (of no surprise as carrots were a staple in his diet here at LS). It was bit covered in lint, so I declined, but it made us both laugh on what turned out to be a tough travel day.
I will fondly remember his kindness and extreme generosity. My heart goes out to you and your family.
Dana Meister
My heart goes out to you and your family.
eat4fun
My sincere concolences to you and your family.
David Ornstein
I am so sorry to hear about your father's death. I hope you are able to take the time you need now...
Ann Hogsett
When I worked at Liggett, I would sometimes take copy to Rip for his comments. He almost always would ask me why I’d written something the way I had. At first I took these questions to mean he hadn’t liked what I’d done. I suppose sometimes that may have been the case, but usually he really just wanted to know why. Why I’d picked a word. What I’d been thinking. Why I believed this way was better than that one. Rip was always curious. Always inquisitive. Always digging deep, trying to find out more. More than that, he seemed to me to have a grand affection for the multitude of things that attracted his interest. That he just plain loved knowing more about everything. And when he turned his attention on something it was very often with delight. So many of us were warmed by Rip’s delight—in ideas, in experiences and, so often, in us. I’ll miss Rip’s laughter, his encouragement, his kindness. And his questions. So much.
Adele
Michael,
My condolences to you and your family on the loss of your dad. Your tribute to him is very moving, and he must have been incredibly proud of the the man and writer you've become.
Hold close to your family and be gentle with yourself in the coming weeks and months. Give yourself time.
Adele
Feisty Bourbon Girl
Michael, I am so sorry to hear this. You are one of my favorite food writers and I was so thrilled to find your blog last week. My deepest sympathies and warmest thoughts are with you and your family. He passed on his love of food, and family, to you. What a blessing.
lifeinrecipes
Michael, Donna, and family
Please accept my heartfelt condolences and deepest sympathies.
Heidi
Eilish
What a beautiful tribute to your dad and what an exquisite photograph. You are right that it so perfectly illustrates the anchor that any good parent and grandparent provides. My heart goes out to your family and you. You are all in my prayers.
NewBreed
That's a truly wonderful picture you posted. Thanks so much for sharing it. I lost my father last year to cancer. A great man. And it's tough. Still to this day it seems sureal. Life without him. Keep him close, never forget him, keep telling the world how great he was through your stories and your actions.
God bless.
gastropoda
Exquisite send-off. My sincere condolences.
Marcy
What a lovely tribute to your dad. My condolences.
Erik
I'm very sorry, Michael. My condolences.
Shannon
For a son to have written this essay about his dad goes to show what a wonderful dad and man your father was. I'm so sorry for your deep and profound loss.
bonnibella
{{{{{Ruhlman & family}}}}}
The Mighty Gastronaut
My deepest condolences. May you and your family celebrate his life and the impressions that he left on you.
Carolyn Jung
Deepest condolences, Michael. I lost both my parents last year _ my Dad first, then my Mom two months afterwards. Nothing prepares you for the loss of your parents. It is a pain like no other, a sadness that seems like it will never end. But just know that the tears will eventually give way to the joyful memories you have of him forever. I know I think of my parents every time I enjoy a great Chinese banquet meal or some awesome dim sum. Think of your Dad whenever you enjoy a favorite morsel. It WILL make you smile, I promise.
john jaeger
Michael and family:
I just heard the news about Rip and I am saddened. I am truly sorry. Of all the bosses I have had in my career, Rip might have been my favorite. Not simply because he was the best. But because he was the most humane.
When I think of Rip I always think of this run in he had with an account service guy who shall remain nameless. Rip and I were in his office and I was trying to get him to understand some bizarre idea I had (never a good sign). The account guy walked in and said, "Rip, I need you here tomorrow morning for an 8:30 meeting. It's very important."
Well, your father nuts. "Goddamnit!" and other choice words. The account guy looked at him and asked, "Do you have a conflict in the morning?"
To which Rip replied, "No! I have a Goddamn party tonight!"
The world was a better place with him on it.
nika
SO very beautiful. Sorry for your loss. The loss of my father seems like yesterday (though it was1999) so I feel like there is little I can say other than you have done a beautiful job of sharing him with us.
The Yummy Mummy Cooks Gourmet
Michael -
I sat here reading this with tears streaming down my face. I'm not sure if I was crying for your dad or for mine or for both of them, but this was a beautiful way to say good-bye. Rip would be so proud of this send-off.
So sorry for your loss...
Kim
shama
If the picture was moving, the words were even more so. Your father sounded extraordinary Michael. Thank you for sharing your memories with us.
Scott Deane
I am very sorry for you and your family's loss. That picture says a lot.
Jason
Everybody should have as good a father.. My condolences to you and yours.
dallas
beautiful story, your family is very lucky to have such a great dad...
TheApostateChef
Words are your oeuvre, not mine.
Having lost my own father, I can only say I'm sorry for your loss and hope that you understand the depth of my sympathy for you.
MissV
Having lost the man who gave me my love of food unexpectedly and way too early, my heart breaks for you. I hope the next few days are filled with as many smiles and laughs remembering as they are filled with tears and sorrow.
Michelle
Michael,
Your dad sounds like the type of man we all would have liked to have known. What makes me think you got your writing ability from him?
My condolences,
Michelle
Linda
Hi Michael,
I'm so sorry about your loss and understand how you must feel. My dad died 12 yrs. ago at the young age of 63 and I still miss him very much. Yet, he remains, in many ways, inside me and by my side. My deepest sympathy and your sentiments are, obviously, much appreciated and admired by your dedicated audience. Amazing how many dads passed on their love of food....I still make my dad's favorite homemade blue cheese dressing....and in so many such ways he lives in our family forever.
Blake
Michael, this is a beautiful tribute, and I love the photo of Rip and Addison. I never saw a man so vividly smitten with his son, and his son's family, as Rip--and no wonder. How delightful it must have been for him, over the years, to watch you become not only the kindest, most generous of men, but so accomplished in every department of life. For my part, I'm grateful to Rip for imparting so much of his own sweetness to a dear friend of mine. God only knows how much I and others are the better for it.
Fackelmann
Michael,
I am very saddened by the news of your loss. Rip truly was a wonderful man. I wish I was there to share a drink with you in his honor.
Mary
Michael, your beautiful tribute is making me cry at my desk. What a tremendous loss, but also what a wonderful gift to have had that relationship. I'm so glad I had a chance to meet him. His pleasure at being with you and your family was clear, as was your love for him. I'm thinking of you.
Love, Mary
Jacki
I am so sorry for your loss. I, too, lost my father, almost 7 years ago. He was my rock. The best person I ever knew. And I miss him everyday. I know your dad would be honored by your tribute to him. It is obvious that he was a wonderful man who loved all of you as much as you loved him. My thoughts are with you and your family.
johnnyd
My Dad also died on Saturday. He was 93.
He also worked in Advertising - JWT in NYC back in the 60's. Whenever I see "Mad Men" I think of him.
He was very active all his life. He taught me how to distinguish good vinegars and olive oils, and how to savor good food.
He slipped on an ice cube while making cocktails back in January and broke his hip.
There was an operation, three infections, many moves between care-providers, and finally he'd had enough - he started refusing to eat two weeks ago.
I knew it wouldn't be long then.
Cheers to you, Michael. I'm in synch, man.
johnnyd (eG)
Pat
Was so sorry to read of the death of your father. Your tribute to him was very touching and I am sure he was very proud of you. I want to thank him and your family for encouraging you to write your wonderful books that provide hours of pleasure and information to us all. Stay strong, memories are comforting. sincerely Pat
Noah
Mr. Ruhlman,
Please accept my condolences to you & your family. What a loving tribute & inspirational picture to share with us.
Noah
Micah
I'm truly saddened for you loss, Ruhlman. You and your family will be in my thoughts today and going forward.
Your tribute to your father is heart-warming and the picture of him and his grand-daughter speaks volumes.
Thank you for sharing this very personal event with your readers.
Nina Holliday
Michael -
My deepest sympathy to you and your family. I was very young when I started at Liggett-Stashower on the account side. The "creatives" made me very nervous, but your father was always so kind and put me at ease. I felt like I could ask him anything and he wasn't going to think I was some young, green account person. I will always remember also that he was a pioneer in fitness - he was into a healthy lifestyle before it was "cool." Your father will live on in so many of us whose life he touched.
Nina
Foodie in the 'Nati
My sympathy and condolences to you and your family during this difficult time. It's clear from your writing and the photo that he was an extraordinary, integral, part of the fabric of your family.
Kirk
Michael
I am sorry for your loss but happy your father was such a strong positive force in your family's lives.
Robert Mcee
Michael,
I am so sorry for your loss, best wishes to you and your family.
My father and I always had a rocky relationship, and it wasn't until his last days that we really understood each other. I am glad that you were able to be with him.
It's not easy, but it's not supposed to be. My heart felt condolence goes out to you and your family.
best wishes
Bob McGee
Wayne W
Very Sorry for your loss.
Regards,
Wayne
Starwind
Thank you for sharing a deeply personal slice of your life with us, Michael, and my deepest condolences to you and all those your father touched.
It can take some of us years to realize how very foundational one, or both, of our parents are to who we are and what we have become. It seems you realized that about your father some time ago. I hope you were able to share that with him.
I am a firm believer in the concept that 'he who is remembered, lives.' Like my father, who is always in my heart with me, a part of your father will be with you forever.
Tea
Oh Michael, I am so sorry to hear the news! I can see from that second photo that you and your father resemble each other--the same enthusiasm, curiosity, spirit.
I never knew my father, and when I read such a gorgeous tribute to such a good man I can only think how lucky you are--and how hard it must be.
Sending my best in these sad times,
--Tara Austen Weaver
rustickitchen
Michael, I'm so sorry for your loss. He clearly was a wonderful man.
Regards,
Janine
Melissa
Michael, My deepest condolences to you and your family on the loss of your father. Donna's photo is exquisite and conveys a beautiful moment. Your writing is wonderful and I'm glad your Dad was able to encourage and support you. It's beautiful that he was surrounded by those who loved him. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.
jamie
All my best to you and your family. Sounds like your father was one hell of a man, I'm sure he'll be missed.
luis
Michael, I wish to extend my deepest condolences to you and your family on the loss of your father.
As I never tire of pointing it out. Your blog has taught a lot about food and cooking. Your books are a treasure of information. (Just received a copy of "The Soul of a Chef" last week). Can't wait to finish reading "The Making of a Chef". What you do matters I am glad your father helped you become the great writer you are today. All the best to you and your family.
Dave
Michael,
My deepest condolences. This year, I turn 38 and my father [born in the same year as yours] died 2 days before my 20th birthday. Please cherish all of the memories that you have because I know, all too well, your heart-ache.
Sharon
Hi Michael: I'm sorry to hear about the death of your father and thank you for sharing his passing with us. The photo is beautiful. Your friend in the kitchen, ~Sharon
Lynn Lilly
Michael and Donna --
I'm so sorry for your loss, and I mourn for you and all of us who knew him, worked with him at Liggett Stashower, and loved him. Rip's great gift was that he was always the same...steadfast,dependable as the sunrise. No matter who you were -- junior copywriter or multimillionaire client -- Rip was the same. Kind, interested, curious, at ease, putting you at ease. Committed to doing the right thing, tough to ruffle, easy with a laugh. Things were always as clear to him as the grammar rules he practiced (and shared) so effortlessly. That made him an especially good man to have in an agency creative department. When stress and emotions kicked up a fog (didn't they always?), he could be counted on to see the simple, clear path, and he was willing to be the guy who took the first step. The world is a little smaller, a little darker and a little colder without his big, bright warmth.
Kelly McNamara
Dear Michael:
I worked with your dad for several years at Liggett-Stashower. Mostly we talked about where and what he ate the night or weekend before. A lot of those stories were about things you and he did together. Restaurant reviews and recipes always came before work with Rip and me.
My friends and I, some of whom also worked with your dad at L-S, have a monthly Supper Club. Last year we did a pseudo-Iron Chef thing and Rip was the judge. Even though it was a social event and none of us pretend to be professionals, he took it delightfully seriously, making detailed notes and providing the final verdict. I hadn't seen him in a while previous to that night and now I am so glad I had that time to spend with him, connecting as we always did, over food and friends.
My best to you and your family. I see more of your dad in you every day.
Kelly McNamara
Jen
I am so sorry for your loss. What a lovely tribute to your dad.
Jen
I am so sorry for your loss. What a lovely tribute to your dad.
neil
Always sad to lose a parent, my thoughts are with you. From what I can see from afar though, your dad lives on through you.
Annie Newman
So sorry for your loss, Michael.
I think advertising men make the best Dads.
Marilyn Chase
Dear Michael and family:
If ever there was a guy who so enjoyed all of even life's littlest moments, Rip was that guy. And he so deserved to enjoy many more of them.
I had the most wonderful honor of working with Rip at LS for almost 20 years and the pleasure was all mine. His kindness, generosity, concern for others set the standard for what we aspire to be. He remains very much a part of the LS culture.
I have wonderful stories and memories of working with Rip but I can tell you that the conversations I enjoyed most were when a new photo of your children appeared in his office. I never missed noticing Donna's beautiful black-and-white images and he never missed the opportunity to share a special moment he spent with them. He was so very proud of all of you.
What a treasure you were so lucky to have and we were even luckier to share.
brandon_w
Thank you for sharing with us your adoration for your Father.
I hope that you and your family are doing well, there are a lot of out here sending you our best wishes.
Tony
Dear Michael,
Your books, Making of a Chef and Soul of a Chef, have been huge inspirations to me while in cooking school and beyond. I'm so, so sorry for your the loss of one of your biggest inspirations, your Dad.
My deepest condolences to you.
-Tony
Sue
So sorry about your loss ... my sympathies
Alison Evans-Fragale
With each memory, let our hearts be reminded that nothing can ever take away the beauty we have known, for love remains a part of us forever.
May the memories held deep within your heart help to soothe your spirit at this difficult time.
You're in my prayers.
Alison
Tammy
So sorry for your loss. What a beautiful tribute you've written. I met your father when I started my career in public relations at Liggett-Stashower in 1995. I will always remember him walking around the office with a carrot in his mouth and frequently boasting of your successes.
Julie C.
Michael,
May the beautiful memories you have of your father help to ease your loss and pain. Thank you for sharing him with us. God Bless.
Jason
"holding the child’s hand as she looks over the edge into who knows what, emboldened to do so because of the anchor behind her"
dude, that's beautiful.
Dominic
Michael, your eloquent tribute to your dad brought me to tears. It is obvious that his generous spirit was passed on to you. I can only hope that I have the same kind of effect on my own children some day.
May God comfort you and your family in this time of sadness.
Shelley
Wow. I stopped in to see what's happening in Ruhlman's World, and here I sit, moved to tears. The words, the pictures.
I am SO sorry to hear about your dad. But I can see now where you got your good looks. 🙂
Hang in there...
Chris Neill
My condolences. Thank you for sharing a little of him with all of us.
Lynn
Your father was a beautiful person, unmistakably part of the LS fabric. Reflections of my career at LS include fond memories of him. My condolences to you and your family.
Sara
Michael,
So sorry for your loss. Keep remembering all the good times and laugh when you can.
Leena!
My deepest sympathies for your family's loss. It sounds like he was a wonderful man who will live on in the hearts and actions of his family.
Doug Kline
Dear Michael,
You wrote a beautiful remembrance that many of us can relate to. I knew Rip and Carole in the early 1960s when we spent our summers working for the Georgian Bay Line, and your grandfather headed the Chamber of Commerce. You come from first-rate stock, and you carry the banner well. Walk tall and be proud.
JOANN PAVLIK
i HAVE WORKED FOR PREFORMED FOR 15 YEARS. I DID NOT HAVE THE PRIVILEDGE TO MEET YOUR FATHER, BUT MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.
WHEN THERE IS LIGHT, THERE IS HOPE.
SINCERELY,
JOANN PAVLIK
Chris
My deepest sympathy to you and your family for your loss.
You paint a wonderful picture of your father, who I'm certain was a fantastic person. How great it is that you had each other.
Steven Gosset
Michael: I'm very sorry for your loss. I've always treasured the time I've spent with my Dad, and know how privileged I am to have such a relationship, as you did with yours.
And anyone who can go through life with the nickname Rip had to be a pretty cool guy.
I wish you and your family peace during this most difficult of times.
alex davis
Rip rocks! "The last person to the table." Thank you for this beautiful profile of your dad. It is a window into who you are, and so appropriate for your food blog, where people go for a sense of bounty. To have him at your home in his final hours must've been an enormous gift, and also an ordeal that required courage. I hope you can be comforted knowing you made every moment count.
Alex Davis
Shelley
Someone told me about a cool web tool, Wordle.com, and on a whim I tested it using your beautiful tribute. The resulting image says it all!
Mark MacLeod
Sorry to hear about your dad's passing, Michael. You've written a nice tribute.
Cate O'Malley
Wow. He sounds like such a wonderful person, and how lucky you are to have had him in your life. Such a beautiful picture.
Howard (drbehavior)
You have my sincerest and deepest sympathies on the death of your dad. Ironically, today at the University of California Davis I was diagnosed with non-small cell lung cancer which also came with a very grim prognosis.
I've always enjoyed your writing because of your unfailing sincerity and this testimonial to your father is but another example of your heart always being in the right place.
Deborah Dowd
My very deepest condolences Michael on the loss of your dad. I know what a terrible loss it is since my own father died when I was just a child and I lost the stepdad who, with my mother, raised me ten years ago to cancer. As much as your heartfelt words,that wonderful picture captures the warm and loving relationship you must've had with your father. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
David J Rust
My condolences. Be well.
karenology
Sorry for your loss. He sounds like a great man. Best wishes.
jkottke
Michael, I'm so sorry to hear about your father's passing. Best wishes from our family to yours.
carrie
Michael, this is beautifully written and poignant. I am sorry for your loss. I can especially relate because we lost my mom about a month ago, at age 60, to metastatic breast cancer. She instilled in me the love of baking I have today. I think your father would be proud. This is a lovely tribute.
Kristin Ohlson
Oh Michael, I'm so sorry.
Lydia
I am very, very sorry to hear this news. My deepest condolences to you and your family. You've written a wonderful tribute and that is a touching photograph.
Harry/Bonnie Hobson
Deepest sympathy from us both. I knew and wad deeply fond of Rip who I worked with since 1980. I kidded him that we wanted me to retire so he could have my offce. Afer we moved to West Va. I received an e-Mail from Rip. "What the hell are all these black pillows on the window sill?". My answer will remain between Rip and myself.
Say hello to an angel for me Rip. Were you surprised?
Hilary Kanter
I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss. Thank you for sharing it with all of us.
Suzy Q
That you had him as a safety net and his granddaughter had him as her anchor says it all.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Matthew H
Mark - it doesn't matter I guess how much of a fan I am of yours or how much respect I have for what you do. What matters most is how much the people in your life everyday are affected by you. I'm sure your dad was very proud of the things you accomplished and I for one and very very sorry to hear about your loss.
Monica Martines
I worked with your father for some years when I was in the marketing departments of both Ameritrust and Third Federal, and LS was our agency. He was the best creative director ever. The last few years, we would occasionally meet at the Shaker Library and chat. He was an extraordinary gentleman, and it was my pleasure and privilege to know and work with him. I extend my deepest sympathy on your great loss.
Mark Rigney
My deepest sympathy to you and your family. The death of a father no matter the circumstances is a difficult thing. Cherish the memories.
brad
Very sorry for your loss. Very inspirational article...i'm sure he's proud.
Alison
My condolences. That was a beautiful tribute.
Eliza
Michael
you probably won't get through all these comments. Or perhaps you will. I went to your blog today looking for info on curing meats and saw this. I am sorry for your loss. Your post (and the photo) moved me to tears. Our time with our parents is so precious. And you have written such a thoughtful tribute to your dad, his influence and his legacy to you. stay strong and write and cook your way through it.
Michael Franco
Michael,
Please except my sincere condolences on the loss of your father. It is clear that he was a wonderful man who loved deeply and was deeply loved. He will always be a part of you and will be forever missed.
I first realized what family means to you when I read your book House A Memoir, a book that resinated strongly with me. This charming and very personal book proves that a house is made of love, strength, respect and family. These qualities that your father offered to you, are the very same qualities that you offer to your children. And in turn, to your children you have become your father. What a beautiful and moving tribute to the man you so loved and admired. There is no question that he was very proud of you.
Thank you Michael for the value that you but into your work. It makes the world a much better place. Please know that I share the grief of you and your family and that I wish you peace.
In friendship,
Michael Franco
PRAISE
Holy flame
By any name-
Creator, Terminator,
Hand-
Receive this praise,
The due of days
Of hobbled terror, healing:
Thanks.
Your muffled light,
Its comrade night
Swept outward, forward, farther
Home.
by;
Reynolds Price
jodycakes
Hi there,
My heart goes out to you - I lost my father unexpectedly 3 years ago and felt every word you wrote.
Thank you for the personal post - I know times are difficult but hang in there - it does get easier...
warmest regards
jody flood
John
My condolences to you and your family. I enjoyed the post, and it reminded me of my father. Thank you for that.
cmt
I'm so very sorry for you loss. Your written tribute was so lovely--it brought tears to my eyes. May memories comfort you.
Joel McNeely
Michael,
So Sorry. And that photo... in profile it is YOU, so striking in the resemblance. And so that is how it is, how it has always been, you carry on for him, with his soul in you.
He lives on.
Condolences,
Joel McNeely
Claudia (The Original)
Oh, Michael, my deepest sympathies for your loss. But Rip lives on - in you and all the instincts and talents he passed on to you, and the warmth of family love and hospitality. And Donna captured it all in her photo - even for those of us who never knew him.
chris orcutt
Michael,
I lost my father 12 years ago, and I remember it as the worst time of my life. I hope you find the comfort in the fond memories of your father. Try to celebrate your father's life every day by remembering something he instilled in you, and never be afraid to share the stories with any one who will listen. I was very moved by the story of your father, and I thank you for sharing it with every one.
Stay strong...
Ron Guenther
I had the privilege of being Rip's Racquetball partner for many years. I will indeed miss him.
Jane
Dear Michael:
What a perfect tribute to your father. Donna's photograph with adison is wonderful. Sounds like you had a special releationship and will forever have wonderful memories. Thinking of you and your family. Jane
Tom Woodward
Michael —
Allow me to add my voice to those whose lives were touched by your dad.
I was hired by Rip (and Tom and Lynn) for my very first copywriting job at Lang, Fisher & Stashower in 1985. Little did I know at the time how fortunate I was to land where I did. The atmosphere was professional, well-adjusted, nurturing and fun — in spite of the daily pressures inherent in the ad biz. Rip Ruhlman was one of the pillars who created and maintained that positive environment and I look back with great appreciation for that.
I was, along with many who have chimed in here, one of Rip’s regular racquetball partners/victims. For such a laid-back sort, he was remarkably competitive and never allowed the overall ledger to nudge in my favor. What a hoot it was to spend lunch hours with a boss kind enough to make me a frequent guest at his club.
Back at the office, Rip was the consummate grammarian. He taught me how to write advertising copy — how to crystallize ideas, prioritize selling points and jettison fluff. He’s the one who dragged me, kicking and screaming, though my “pun phase.” Picture the typical scenario: I trudge into Rip’s office, copy sheet in hand, and immediately he whips out a red pen and pulls off the cap, ready to mark the bejesus out of my opus…before reading word ONE! It used to drive me loopy, but The Professor knew exactly what he was doing. He needed that pen. I needed that pen. And now, with the benefit of hindsight, I’m proud to say that one man’s ballpoint helped create the foundation for whatever I’ve achieved in this business.
I’ll always be thankful to have been a friend and protégé of Rip Ruhlman, a man whom I’ll forever associate with red pens, carrots, an Underwood typewriter, and a terrific group of people who thought the world of him.
Tom Woodward
Tom Moore
Hi Michael:
Saturday I told you the story of how I tried to teach your Dad how to drive a stick shift and thru his questions we BOTH learned to do it correctly (how annoying).
Then there was a few weeks ago..I saw Rip in Heinen's and I said "I've got a really lame offer to make...I can give you a ride to the upcoming L-S reunion, but I have another commitment on the West Side afterward, so I can't bring you back."
He laughed, "Wow...now that IS lame!"
Me: "But I would be happy to drop you off at the RTA stop."
Rip: "RTA! I love RTA! I'll get back to you."
In the olden days used to set up at Norwood and Van Aken for the Memorial Day parade with our little ones, among other things hoping to see Rip on his bike. One time after his visit, my 5-year old said "Who was that?"
I said, "That was about the nicest man you will ever meet."
God bless.
Chicago Chris
My deepest condolences to you and your family on the loss of your father.
You so eloquently eulogized this man, so much so that I almost felt like I knew him, and so wanted him to be MY father!
Warm thoughts to you and yours.
Heather Broad
All my heart goes out to you and your family. I feel and can relate to your pain. You father sounds like an amazing man, you're luck to have had him. And he you.
Matt
I owe you a debt of gratitude, for it was your book Making of a Chef that kickstarted my love of food and cooking. After reading your post, I realize that I owe your father a debt of gratitude as well. My condolences, Michael.
Becky
Such a sad and loving tribute. You no doubt possess his very same admirable character traits. Warmest regards, becky
Ralph
Thump to the heart... peace sign...
Growing up, my dad was the oldest (and coolest) dad in my group... I have him back here now, for a short time, i fear. He made sure that I sat at my grandmother's knee as she made the ravioli... those blessed ravioli... where do the years go? It WAS just yesterday. Carpe diem. All my thoughts...
John Hogsett
I had the distinct pleasure of working with your father when I worked in the mail room at Liggett-Stashower and on my route of dropping off mail I could always count on his smiling face to welcome me into his office. While there he would always ask me unique questions about my day and my life and more often then not he provided his own "Rip" take on any situation. Our conversations might have delayed my route for a few minutes but they were always one of the highlights of my day. I am truly saddened by your loss but I am quite thankful for knowing such a kind man.
maui
Mi más sentido pésame para Ud y su familia en estos momentos de dolor.
Paul
Michael, I'm so sorry to read of your (and this world's) loss. My thoughts are with you and your family at this time.
Lance
Dear Michael,
Just heard the sad news about your father. I lost my mom a few years ago now to cancer as
well; it's never easy. Your tribute and Donna's photo are both very touching and beautiful. My condolences to you and your family.
Sean
I lost my father just a few months ago. While my relationship with him was different than the one between you two (I also wrote about him on my blog), it makes no difference at the end of the day. I think of him every day, now more than ever, and it will take a long time to heal. I wish you all the best in your healing process.
Marina
I lost my Dad February 28th to a very rapid lung cancer. We didn't, and he didn't know he was sick, and it took 12 days from diagnosis to his passing. I know all too well how you feel. I miss him terribly, and I wish that I could tell you that as time goes by that you will be able to feel less like weeping, but I can not. It sounds from your writing that you adored your Dad, like I adored mine. It will always be an open wound, and it will always be very close to the surface. The slightest memory sends me to tears. Perhaps it will be different for you. My sincerest condolences.
Jennifer
Michael,
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Jennifer
Carlye
I remember your Dad as a warm and personable gentleman. You are a lucky guy to have a father who was so supportive of your writing.
Best wishes.
melissa
my condolences.
kanani
I'm so sorry, Michael. What a beautiful photograph and remembrance of him on this blog.
Sally
My first time ever leaving a comment.
My profound condolences - this was a beautiful tribute to your Dad.
Touching, beautiful
take care of yourself..
Greg Wing
I am very sorry for your loss. I had the pleasure of working for your dad for 2 years at Liggett and I was always very impressed by how kind he was to everyone, even newcomers like myself. I will always remember the cool rubber Halloween masks that decorated his office. I have never worked with someone who was so admired and respected by his co-workers.
amber
so sorry to hear about your father. what a beautiful tribute to him.
John Ettorre
A fitting poetic tribute to a no doubt uniquely wonderful man. He remains alive in your inspired work. My sympathies to your entire family, Michael.
Michelle O'Neil
Beautiful tribute. You are so very blessed to have had this kind of relationship with your dad. Thanks for sharing.
Linda Seabold
Michael,
My heart goes out to you -- you not only lost your dad, you lost your best friend. I know that feeling.
Your article was a beautiful tribute. He sounds like the kind of man I would have loved to know.
And, he was fortunate to have a wonderful son like you.
Thoughts and prayers are with you.
Linda
Connie Schultz
Michael,what a privilege to read your beautiful tribute to your father. Grief has a way of sneaking up on us, so be gentle with yourself. I am so sorry that you lost your father. He was too young.
Connie Schultz
Katy Kafantaris
Hi Michael...catching up on your blog and VERY sorry to hear of your dad's recent passing..what a wonderful tribute and photos that capture the great relationship that you had with your dad. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family---it's wonderful that you have all the great memories and experiences to hold on to...those are what will get you through the sadness. Take care!
Barbara Fisher
Your father is with you always, not only because he is your father and thus contributed half of the genes that made you what you are, and not only because he raised you and taught you the values that made you who you are.
He will not only live on in your mind and heart through the memory of his love, which nurtured you into where you are.
He lives on in every cell of your body, every fiber of your physical being, and in your very soul because of all of the meals he fed you. When we eat, we incorporate not only the physical essence of the food into our bodies, but we also incorporate the spiritual essence of it. And foodstuffs are affected strongly not only physically, but spiritually, by the person(s) who prepare it. Food prepared with love and care, nourishes not only our bodies, but our souls, and from what you say about your father, and just from the way you write in general, I can tell that your soul has been well nourished by the love of others in the form of food.
He can never be truly taken from you, nor you from him.
Remember that always.
Blessings to you and your family, now and ever.
We Are Never Full
I know this is overdue, but I am so sorry for your loss. What a lovely piece on your father. He sounds like a wonderful guy! That picture at the top of the post is gorgeous.
Christopher Travers
Michael - I am so sorry to hear of your father's death. It must be very hard for you and your family - our condolences. I just finished reading THE SOUL OF A CHEF today and I am CERTAIN your father must have been so proud of you and what you have done with your life.
Best to you,
Christopher Travers
Santa Monica, CA
Carolyn Hori
Hi Michael,
I know its been a while since you wrote this post, and the anniversary approaches. I lost my mom to breast cancer after a short 3 month battle in late 2007. She was similar to your father and showed me a love of food and entertaining. I have followed your career since MofC, FL cookbook,Bouchon cookbook, Bourdain, etc and I am thankful that your father taught you to follow your passion for food. I appreciate you and Rip. Enjoy his memory on the anniversary-throw a great dinner party in his honor with food/friends and drink that he would love-that what I do! Best, Carolyn